


Like Sand

by EmmzyPlayz



Series: McHanzo Collection [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Conversations, Drinking, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Fall of Overwatch, Post-Recall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-14 14:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14138415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmzyPlayz/pseuds/EmmzyPlayz
Summary: Jesse McCree is close to becoming an alcoholic and a certain Shimada has come to intervene and talk with him.--Like sand, he slipped through your fingers. Beautiful moments are fleeting.





	1. Drowning

They say moments of beauty are fleeting. That they last meer seconds, but to the eye of the beholder they last a lifetime. Jesse McCree was one of the few who knew what these moments felt like. Was one of the few who cherished them. Was one of the few who wished they could have lasted an continued to be made, but some things just aren’t meant to last.

 

Jesse sighed softly as he sat at the bar, the smell of alcohol, cigar smoke and sweat hanging heavy in the air. It was familiar and something that brought Jesse comfort, but now...that which used to comfort him brought only a deeper feeling of loneliness. His coffee brown eyes looked down into the glass of honey gold liquid that stared back. Jesse loved his whiskey. That was something that had always been a consistency with him, but how much he drank was another story.

 

Jesse McCree wasn’t an alcoholic, but he was pretty damn close to one with how much he drank now. Back then it’d been two to three flasks a day. Now he couldn’t count the number of drinks he had a day on one hand...let alone two. He closed tired eyes and threw back the shot of whiskey, feeling the of the burn in his throat a familiarity that brought him some peace. “You’re going to kill your liver,” said a voice, and Jesse opened his eyes.

 

“Does it look like I care?” said Jesse bitterly.

 

A soft hum came as his companion thought before speaking, “No, but you cannot continue to drown yourself in alcohol, Jesse. It’s been a year. Why do you insist on remaining in the past and drowning yourself in alcohol?”

 

“Ya wouldn’t understand,” replied Jesse waving for another shot of whiskey, but his companion shook his head to stop the bartender. “Listen, if yer here t’ try t’ cut me off, ya can get the hell outta here.”

 

“I’m trying to help you, Jesse,” said the man.

 

“Well ya can stop!” snapped Jesse whirling around in his chair to glare at the shorter man. “I am fine, damnit!”

 

“...My brother is worried for you,” he said quietly.

 

Jesse visibly flinched and turned away in his seat. “...He shouldn’t be,” he replied. “He ain’t got any reason to worry ‘bout me.”

 

“He still cares for you, Jesse,” replied the other. “Even if you two are no longer together, he still wants you to be alright. He wishes no ill-will on you.”

 

“...Well he should stop, Genji. If he really cared, it wouldn’t have ended,” he said bitterly.

 

Genji took a deep breath. “All he wanted was for you to stop being so reckless, Jesse. Now look at you. You’re drowning yourself in alcohol and even worse than before.”

 

Jesse slammed his fist down on the counter of the bar. “I wouldn’t be drownin’ in anythin’ if he’d just realized that is who I am!” he shouted. “Yes, I’m reckless, Genji. But hell even ya know that’s in my nature! Why should I have t’ change fer someone else!?”

 

Genji stood their unmoving for a few moments before he turned his head to the side. “He just wants to not have to worry that you’ll get yourself killed, Jesse.”

 

“God damnit, Genji...that’s the damn business we’re in!” shouted Jesse. “It ain’t like we’re runnin’ a flower shop. We’re apart of Overwatch, we’re jus’ a buncha vigilantes and people playin’ hero t’ keep the public safe!”

 

“...You miss him. Don’t you?” said Genji. “That’s why you’ve been drinking so much. Why you’ve been distant from everyone.”

  
“Like hell I miss him, Genji,” said Jesse softly. “I miss him every damn day…”

 

“Then you need to clean up your act, Jesse,” said Genji reaching out and resting a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “He slipped through your fingers like sand once before, do not lose your chance now to have him back. I wish you luck, my friend.”

 

Jesse sat there in silence as Genji left, the feeling of the man’s touch lingering on his shoulder. His words rang in his ears, but they rang louder in his heart.


	2. Breaking

**Note: ‘anija’ means big brother in Japanese.**

  
  
  


_ One Month Later… _

  
  
  


“Do you believe that he has gotten better, Genji?”

 

“I am not sure, anija...I haven’t seen him much around base.”

 

“I see…”

 

Hanzo sighed as he looked out out from the cliffs of Gibraltar to the ocean that lay below him. He could hear the crashing of the water against the rocks, and he could smell the tang of saltwater in the wind. Hanzo jumped slightly at his brother’s hand on his shoulder, and he turned his head only to stiffen at what he saw. His brother had removed his face plate and was gazing at him with unreadable amber eyes. “Anija...I know you left Jesse because of his recklessness, but you and I both know it is in his nature. Even if he tries to change that for you, he can’t,” said Genji. “Why did you really leave him?”

 

Hanzo took a sharp intake of air. How had his brother seen so easily through him? He could never tell him the real reason for leaving Jesse. It’d only cause more problems. He turned away from Genji and said, “He was reckless. I didn’t want to lose someone I love again, so I pushed him away.”

 

“But Hanzo, by pushing him away you’re hurting not just him, but yourself mo-”

 

“Enough, Genji!” shouted Hanzo as he whirled around on him. “Drop it!”

 

“...Okay anija,” said Genji quietly. “I am going to get something to eat...you should as well.”

 

Hanzo listened to his brother’s footsteps retreat away from the cliffside till he could hear them no more. He turned back to the view before him and pinched the bridge of his nose. How could he ever tell his brother what he knew? What he’d so easily seen in his eyes? Hanzo took a deep breath as he let his hand fall back to his side, his mind swimming with worries as he remained by the cliff with the sound of crashing waves and the scent of saltwater hanging in the air.

 

\--

 

A soft knock on his door late in the night disrupted Hanzo from his nightly meditations, and he sighed in frustration before reluctantly getting to his feet and answering the door. “What is i-” he cut off once he realized who it was.

 

“Hey darlin’...I uh...I’m sorry fer interruptin’ yer mediatin’ if I did,” apologized the man, and Hanzo stiffened.

 

“Jesse,” he said.

 

There stood the cowboy in all his glory. He was wearing a red flannel, the sleeves rolled up to his bicep. He wore that all too familiar ‘BAMF’ belt around his waist and the typical blue jeans. His cowboy hat was absent, revealing his coffee brown locks that were a bit greasy looking. He had his scruffy beard, crow’s feet, lines that showed years of stress and hard work. 

 

The one thing that captivated Hanzo completely like they always had, were his deep chocolate brown eyes. The way they held a softness and undying love whenever they rested upon him, but now they were filled with discomfort and an underlying sadness. “Hanzo I...I came to talk to ya,” said Jesse.

 

“There is nothing to say between us,” said Hanzo as he went to close the door, but Jesse shoved his boot in between the door and the frame to stop him from closing it.

 

“I’m afraid there is darlin’,” argued Jesse.

 

“Talk then,” said Hanzo as he glared at the cowboy.

 

“Darlin’, I miss ya,” said Jesse. “I understand ya ain’t too happy with me ‘n my recklessness or my drinkin’, Han. I’ve been tryin’ to change fer ya...I cut back on my drinkin’, and I’m tryin’ to be more level headed. I know it ain’t much, and I know it’s hard to believe me, but I’m tryin’.I swear I am...please jus’ gimme a chance to be with ya again. I swear things’ll be different darlin’...”

 

Hanzo swallowed dryly, he felt like a lump was stuck in his throat. His knees were weak. It felt hard to breathe...to think. Hanzo tried to gather his thoughts and emotions, his heart racing and aching at the same time. He closed his eyes tightly before opening them again to focus on the man before him. He finally mustered the strength he had left and spoke, “No. I cannot give you another chance, Jesse McCree.”

 

Hanzo felt his heart break in two as Jesse’s face dropped and he recalled the exact same expression when he’d left him. “B...But...why…? Don’t you remember everything we had, Hanzo? I miss you, Hanzo. Don’t you miss me too?”

  
Hanzo felt his mouth go dry and tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. He did miss Jesse. God he  _ loved _ him, but he couldn’t. He just….couldn’t. “I...I do miss you Jesse,” said Hanzo softly, and he saw hope flare in Jesse’s eyes, but it was quickly crushed as Hanzo spoke again. “...But not enough to want you back.”


End file.
